Shades of Eternity Ch 4

I was feeling better by the time we made it back to school.  

"Thank you," I said when we pulled back into the parking lot.  The ice cream really had been a good idea and though I didn't think that I could actually take Kaillen's advice, her playful presence had done wonders for my mood.  It seemed rather dumb to come back after school was over, but I was a sucker when it came to Maria and she had wanted to speak, so here I was.

"No problem.  I'd offer you a ride home, but I have tennis after school.  I was hoping the rain would keep up, but it didn't pan out," she said.  I shook my head.

"Don't worry about it, my mother might think it was strange if I didn't come home on the bus, anyway.  She'd probably think that I'd been ditching school with my latest fling.  Which would be half right, wouldn't it?"  Kaillen nodded and gave a slight smile, but she still looked guilty as she collected her stuff and headed off toward the courts.  I sighed and walked around the depressing old building to the front where I was going to meet Maria.

"Deneve," said some boy from behind me.  I turned around and looked up at him.  He was tall and had copper hair and blue eyes.  If I was straight, I might have called him handsome in a boyish sort of way that meant he probably wouldn't be so good looking in about twenty years.

"That's me, but who are you?" I said a little less than politely.  The boy's smile faltered but he shook it off.

"Parker.  We have chemistry together.  I thought maybe you weren't here today since you didn't show up for class, but I'm glad I ran into you," he said exuberantly.  I rolled my eyes.

"Is this going anywhere?  Because I really have to be somewhere right now."  I turned to leave but he grabbed my arm and pulled me around again.  I ground my teeth together.  How annoying.

"Wait, I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me.  We could see a movie or get coffee or something," he said, running a hand through his hair.  I smiled pleasantly at him.

"Sorry, Parker, I don't swing that way," I said.  Where had he been living?  Mars?  It was common knowledge that I was lesbian and therefor it was rather irritating that he asked me out.  Leaving him dumbfounded in the middle of the walkway I stalked off, feeling like the good mood that Kaillen had put me in was draining out of me.

Maria was standing in the middle of the lawn out front of the school when I arrived, looking irritably at the clock on her cellphone she glanced up at me and made a 'finally' gesture with her hands.  I quickened my pace to get over to her.

"Where have you been?  I thought you said you were on a schedule," she said.  I shrugged, not bothering to explain the reason for my absence.  She probably wouldn't understand anyway.

"Sorry," I said.  She nodded and then bit her lip, looking like she was trying to figure out how to say what she wanted to tell me.

"I think we should break up," she said.  I stared.

"What?"

"I just don't think this is working out, Deneve," she said, tucking a long black curl behind her ear.  "While I hope we can still be friends, I think we should break up.  I don't think I'm in love with you anymore.  We're just not that compatible, and frankly, I'm done with the experimental phase, I've found that I'm just more interested in guys."

I blinked at her, not quite sure if I could believe my ears.  I hoped I was just imagining this.  Maybe I was still asleep and this entire horrible day had never occurred.  That was it.  It was all just a bad dream.  Soon I would wake up and go to school where Maria would kiss me and say that she loved me.  Well, maybe not in public, but we could sneak away during lunch and find a broom closet somewhere.

"I'm sorry, Deneve," she said, looking only slightly so.  My heart made an odd little thump and I could feel tears begging to be released.

"Oh," I said at last, surprised my voice was so steady, "I see."  I tried to smile, but I wasn't sure that I succeeded.  Maria nodded, shifting uncomfortably for a moment before she turned and left with a brief wave.

I stared after her for a very long time, not noticing when the rain started up again.  I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised.  Everyone left, right?  Sooner or later, one could only rely on oneself.  Still, I could hardly comprehend the pain that I felt as I watched her retreating into the building.

"Deneve," said a voice from behind me.  I couldn't quite bring myself to look back and see who it was.  A big, warm hand landed on my shoulder and I looked blankly over at Kaillen.  She was standing with her umbrella over us both, her eyes full of concern.
"What's wrong?" she asked.  I shook my head.

"Nothing," my voice was oddly void of emotion, but it didn't seem to convince Kaillen.  She looked me up and down, and I finally realized that I was soaked through.

"Don't you have tennis?" I asked dumbly.

"It was canceled for the rain," she said, "I'm only here because I forgot my pre calc book in my locker."

I nodded, looking back to where Maria had disappeared.  Kaillen gently tugged a strand of my hair to get my attention.

"Why are you zoning out?  Did you miss the bus?" she asked.  I looked at my watch.  I had, apparently, missed my bus, but I couldn't bring myself to feel anxious about it.  It was too shocked by what had just happened to feel much of anything, only hurt.

"Yeah," I sighed, "I'll just walk home."

"Don't be silly, I told you earlier that I could take you home if I didn't have tennis," Kaillen said, taking my arm and steering me back toward the parking lot, seeming to have forgotten about her textbook.  I followed lamely, starting to shiver, though it was from something more than just cold.

"Thanks," I muttered.  Kaillen gave my shoulder a squeeze.

"It'll be all right," she said.  Probably thinking that my mood was due to missing my bus and the consequences with my mother, possibly even the divorce.  But that had almost completely left my mind.  When we got to her car, she opened the door for me and I climbed in.  I couldn't even fully appreciate the luxurious classic car.

"It's not that.  It's Maria," I said.  I wasn't sure how to tell Kaillen that she had dumped me.  It was almost as though I was afraid that she would forsake me for Mara if I said anything.  I didn't think that I could handle the idea of losing them both in a matter of an hour.

"Oh," Kaillen said when she slammed her door behind her.  She looked at me contemplatively, seeming to mull over whether or not to say something more.  "I know that it's not my place to say, but I think you should break up with her."

That snapped me out of my trance and I glared at Kaillen.

"Why?" I demanded.  Of course, it didn't really matter as she had already broken it off.  Still, it stung that Kaillen would say that.  Kaillen shifted uncomfortably in her seat, looking out the windshield for a moment.

"She's not good enough for you," Kaillen said quietly, looking at me almost sheepishly.  The mere idea was absurd, but the way Kaillen said it made me soften.

"No?"

"She isn't.  You're kind, and loyal, and beautiful.  She doesn't appreciate you like she should.  I know she's my friend, but I think I see her flaws more clearly than you.  If you saw the way you interact with each other, the way she treats you, from my point of view, you'd agree with me.  You deserve so much more than that, Deneve."

"I don't understand, Kaillen," I said.  "Why do you care?  Our only connection is Maria.  You're her friend."  Kaillen's brows drew together.

"I'm your friend too.  Actually, it was only because I knew she was friends with you that I started hanging out with her in the first place."
I frowned at her, leaning back in my seat.

"What do you mean?" I asked, pondering the implications of that.

"I mean I wanted to know you.  Honestly, I had a huge crush on you . . . Well, I still have a huge crush on you," she admitted.  My eyes went wide when suddenly Kaillen leaned forward, her hand on the back of my neck, and kissed me.  My eyes fluttered closed.  This was totally wrong.  Maria and I had broken up only minutes ago, but her soft lips felt so good against mine and I could taste her strawberry chap stick.

"No!" I shouted, shoving her away when my senses returned to me in a rush.  Kaillen looked stricken at what she had done, but I was too angry to let her explain.  I unbuckled my seatbelt and evacuated, slamming the door hard behind me.  I would walk home, regardless of the fact that that would piss off my mother.

Damn my mother.  Damn Kaillen.  Damn Maria.  Damn the people who were supposed to love me but only hurt me.  Damn divorce and marriage.  Damn the whole fucking world.

Hot tears tracked down my face as I stormed toward my house.  It was a long walk, but I didn't care.  I didn't want to be home anyway.